HEAD ON

This is the new sign on my computer monitor at work - "HEAD ON".

A subtle reminder to stay focused, yes.
But much more importantly, a plea from myself to myself to tackle problems "head-on".

I have picked up a book on the Enneagram, and while I had a difficult time "typing" myself when introduced to this Personality Type system back in high school, this time I read through the description of 9 - The Peacemaker, to find a surprisingly accurate description of my motivations, inner struggles, and methods of dealing with conflict, anxiety etc.

As someone who is happiest when the people around me are happy, I put a lot of energy into keeping the people around me happy, obviously.

Strangely enough, just a couple of weeks ago I summarize all of my objectives at work, and categorized them all under the ultimate headings of:
1- Keep my boss happy
2 - Keep my team happy
3 - Keep my project funders happy
and a fourth, second tier objective: (4 - keep myself happy?)

Well, the age old saying - "you can't keep everyone happy all the time" obviously causes stress to me consistently, as I avoid upsetting one person only to the dismay of another. To avoid conflict situations I tend to avoid acknowledging problems as long as possible, and only address them when avoiding to do so any longer creates greater conflict in the short term.

The greatest struggle for a Peacemaker is to deal squarely with problems, acknowledging that conflict is a necessary part of dealing with life's inevitable problems, and will not destroy personal relationships.

With this new encouragement on my monitor I am so far only realizing to what extremes I go to avoid conflict. Hopefully with time and repetitive attempts I will overcome this habit/fear, and in so doing, make life more enjoyable for myself, and less confusing for those I work with!